.:Maggie:.

They sedated her and I held her in my arms the entire time. I cried and then held back the tears and then cried again. Even though I knew we had planned to put our precious pug to sleep it didn't seem real to me until that moment I held her. She made all the wrong in the world go away and knowing that she wouldn't be there for that ever again hurt.

I know it's silly to feel this way about a dog, but I guess only true pet lovers will understand this.

It felt like a normal day... a normal day to take our pet to the vet. But what hurt the most was knowing that she wouldn't be coming home with us and knowing that she didn't know that. She probably only thought it was a regular routine and of course was nervous like she always is for those regular visits. I felt like in some way we were betraying her trust. It broke my heart.

We had the best doctor and they were so good to us. They let me hold her the entire time and I literally got to watch her leave. It was the hardest thing yet the best thing I could have experienced.

I miss her already.

Just Missing.

I was just looking back at some of my blog entries and realized... they're always about school! Blah! So I just wanted to write down a few, sort of, non-school related things on my mind...

~I can't wait until I have my first real job! I can't wait to be doing something completely out of my element. I can't wait until I have a paycheck!~

~There's nothing really good on TV anymore... it's mostly disgusting garbage and it saddens me. Only thing I can stand to watch is ESPN and a few comedies~

~Which reminds me, I miss going to sporting events and can't wait until I can get my own car and travel and see baseball games live!!! I want to go to as many stadiums as I can. Definitely going to Yankee stadium again~

~I miss going to movies and out to eat and exercising! lol. Boy, do I need to exercise~

~I miss going to concerts~

~I miss seeing my friends! I hear about so many things going on and I can't be there or can't afford to be there or don't have time to be there~

~I can't wait until I can go see the ocean on any given day at a drop of a hat~

~I can't wait until I can read a book for fun and it doesn't come with a syllabus!~

~Just 31 more days until I can get closer to accomplishing some of these things~

:)