Work Update.

I feel a lot better about all of it.  I'm actually really, really happy!

I've been on the floor the past couple of days and it's been great! Still don't know what I'm doing half of the time, but luckily everyone has been really helpful and nice.  I like knowing there's so much to do in this field even though I'm not independent yet.  But I'm in no rush for that! ha ha ha! Just like taking the baby steps for now.

I am so happy and relieved to have this job.  I can't stop feeling so good inside!! I've never had that happen to me before.

BUT... (now this is my negative side talking) I'm just worried because you know the saying, "What goes up, must come down."

Hmmm.... just hoping I can handle it all when that happens because the way I've been feeling lately, that "down" is going to be really hard.

So... new goal for the new year:

Face every challenge head on and with a better attitude than before. 

Ok go!

Yikes!

I'm so nervous and I haven't even started yet.  Plus, I'm worried about a few things not working out so my dream job feels like it could be taken away at any moment.  PLUS, with all the talk about the program and expectations I keep feeling even more inadequate so I keep worrying that it will be taken away.  Are they sure my name was the one they picked??

I haven't even started yet and I'm already feeling this way.  Can't imagine what I'll feel like if they let me on the floor!  

Well....

Yes, yes it's true... I GOT THE JOB!!!!

Somehow everything worked out perfectly and so far still is.  Looking back at everything, especially the last four years, I can finally see how it worked out... everytime.  Sadly I couldn't see it during that time with all the tears, fears, struggles, selfishness, anguish, pity, stress (ok, ok you get the picture).  But it's time to learn from that, leave it behind, and move on so I can embrace the present and future.  I'm so grateful for this opportunity and still don't feel like I deserve it.  But I'm going to do my best with it and earn it :)  

So the job is a new graduate program at a hospital that I worked at during my last semester of school.  I really, really liked working there and have been wanting to start my career there (yes, I said career.. how cool is that?!). I've been in contact with people there since I graduated and have been just waiting it out until an opportunity like this came.  It's hard for new graduates to get a job without experience because it cost a lot more money to train a new graduate then it does someone with experience.  This is the first time this hospital or any hospital in Nevada has ever done a new graduate program.  It's so new to the hospital that I'm not sure exactly what will be going on, but this is what I understand of it so far...

It's a one year residency which means a guaranteed job for a year!! Yay! For the first five weeks we'll be rotating on all the different units and afterwards we'll pick/be assigned a unit.  We'll then have a preceptorship for 6-8 weeks on that unit.  But that's as much as I know so far.  I'm sure there will be classes and such in between and throughout.  But the point is, they'll be designing this program for us!!

I'm extremely nervous and yet I have never been so at peace and felt so happy about my life now and the future. 

Thank you to an understanding, patient, loving Heavenly Father for still believing in me even though I don't deserve it.  And thank you for wonderful family and friends for the love, support, and prayers!!!

I finally made it!!! 

Interview.

Finally had my first nursing interview today.  Couldn't sleep and I was eating anything in sight because I was so stressed about it.  I've been on plenty of interviews before, but this was my first grown-up interview so it's kind of a big deal.

We had two interviews in one day with two different panels.  I felt so average, inadequate and unoriginal, but who doesn't feel that way during an imporant interview when you have no experience?! Moving on...

It's hard to say how they're going to determine who gets in with so many good applicants... so this weekend is going to be pretty nerve racking.  But at least I can say I've been on one nursing interview since graduating (and I secretly hope it will be my last) so whatever happens will be for the best.... right?!

Ok, I'll find out next week if I made the cut and if I did I'll expound more on it.  If not, well... whoever reads this will get to hear me complain some more :D Lucky you!