Things are definitely not working out in my favor so far. This semester is the roughest semester I've ever been through and I don't see myself coming out of it alive. It'll be the first time ever in my life that I'll have to re-take a class and it's really hard to accept it even though I've been praying about it and I feel good about re-taking it. But the adversary definitely has a way of making you think otherwise and that's where the struggle has come in. It just breaks my heart. I'm scared. I feel so inadequate. I don't know how to handle it some days. Other days I feel fine.
I'm not sure why I'm going through this. Is there a purpose that I need to re-take it or am I really that dumb that I can't get this and no amount of divine help will work? Am I not working hard enough? Am I not wanting it bad enough? Why has He brought me this far and letting me fall? Ugh. So many negative thoughts.
But I do feel that re-taking it would help me out in the long run as a nurse. I just really hope it's for some type of purpose, that He's doing it for my own good and not because I just can't do it otherwise I don't feel like I could handle it all. I get discouraged way too easily.
Other than that, life is just lovely! Can you tell?? ha ha
