Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Work Update.

I feel a lot better about all of it.  I'm actually really, really happy!

I've been on the floor the past couple of days and it's been great! Still don't know what I'm doing half of the time, but luckily everyone has been really helpful and nice.  I like knowing there's so much to do in this field even though I'm not independent yet.  But I'm in no rush for that! ha ha ha! Just like taking the baby steps for now.

I am so happy and relieved to have this job.  I can't stop feeling so good inside!! I've never had that happen to me before.

BUT... (now this is my negative side talking) I'm just worried because you know the saying, "What goes up, must come down."

Hmmm.... just hoping I can handle it all when that happens because the way I've been feeling lately, that "down" is going to be really hard.

So... new goal for the new year:

Face every challenge head on and with a better attitude than before. 

Ok go!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Yikes!

I'm so nervous and I haven't even started yet.  Plus, I'm worried about a few things not working out so my dream job feels like it could be taken away at any moment.  PLUS, with all the talk about the program and expectations I keep feeling even more inadequate so I keep worrying that it will be taken away.  Are they sure my name was the one they picked??

I haven't even started yet and I'm already feeling this way.  Can't imagine what I'll feel like if they let me on the floor!  

Friday, December 10, 2010

Well....

Yes, yes it's true... I GOT THE JOB!!!!

Somehow everything worked out perfectly and so far still is.  Looking back at everything, especially the last four years, I can finally see how it worked out... everytime.  Sadly I couldn't see it during that time with all the tears, fears, struggles, selfishness, anguish, pity, stress (ok, ok you get the picture).  But it's time to learn from that, leave it behind, and move on so I can embrace the present and future.  I'm so grateful for this opportunity and still don't feel like I deserve it.  But I'm going to do my best with it and earn it :)  

So the job is a new graduate program at a hospital that I worked at during my last semester of school.  I really, really liked working there and have been wanting to start my career there (yes, I said career.. how cool is that?!). I've been in contact with people there since I graduated and have been just waiting it out until an opportunity like this came.  It's hard for new graduates to get a job without experience because it cost a lot more money to train a new graduate then it does someone with experience.  This is the first time this hospital or any hospital in Nevada has ever done a new graduate program.  It's so new to the hospital that I'm not sure exactly what will be going on, but this is what I understand of it so far...

It's a one year residency which means a guaranteed job for a year!! Yay! For the first five weeks we'll be rotating on all the different units and afterwards we'll pick/be assigned a unit.  We'll then have a preceptorship for 6-8 weeks on that unit.  But that's as much as I know so far.  I'm sure there will be classes and such in between and throughout.  But the point is, they'll be designing this program for us!!

I'm extremely nervous and yet I have never been so at peace and felt so happy about my life now and the future. 

Thank you to an understanding, patient, loving Heavenly Father for still believing in me even though I don't deserve it.  And thank you for wonderful family and friends for the love, support, and prayers!!!

I finally made it!!! 

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Interview.

Finally had my first nursing interview today.  Couldn't sleep and I was eating anything in sight because I was so stressed about it.  I've been on plenty of interviews before, but this was my first grown-up interview so it's kind of a big deal.

We had two interviews in one day with two different panels.  I felt so average, inadequate and unoriginal, but who doesn't feel that way during an imporant interview when you have no experience?! Moving on...

It's hard to say how they're going to determine who gets in with so many good applicants... so this weekend is going to be pretty nerve racking.  But at least I can say I've been on one nursing interview since graduating (and I secretly hope it will be my last) so whatever happens will be for the best.... right?!

Ok, I'll find out next week if I made the cut and if I did I'll expound more on it.  If not, well... whoever reads this will get to hear me complain some more :D Lucky you! 

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Photo Shoot!!

I'm not a photographer by any means, but my dear friend Ferlayna asked me (of all people!) to take some shots of her and we had a little fun. Plus, I think she's gorgeous and wanted to show her off!!

I took so many photos and had a hard time choosing some, but here are a few of my favorites...
















(This last one is the one she chose to hang on her wall... I feel like a proud mama!!)



Saturday, November 13, 2010

Better.

I realized how negative my last post was and I just wanted to update.  Feeling much better and finding things in my life that are better than I could hope for.  It's just taking me a little effort and a lot of prayer.  

The end.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Just a Thought

"I feel like I'm exisiting instead of living."

Found that on a postsecret card and just realized that's how I've been feeling lately too.  The problem is trying to get away from that feeling, but not knowing exactly how to either.  So discouraging and frustrating when you want to live, but others (including yourself) keep making you exist. 

Monday, October 4, 2010

Hello, Hello!

What you've missed...


1. I graduated from college.


2. I took my boards and miraculously passed, which gave me my RN license :D

3. My birthday. Which was utterly awesome because I got to spend it with family I never see, friends that are always there, and the idea that my future is about to unfold.

4. I started another PROJECT. Or should I say, I'm attempting the same project.. again... for the millionth time. No guarantees on this one either... I tend to say that and not follow through so no promises! :P I decided to do it here on blogger to see how I like it since I've seen some friends have it on here as well and found that I do like it. So follow along if you want :) And just to warn you, I'm not great with pictures nor am I good with how to fix up a blog so... yea. It is, what it is.

5. And just went more blonde... literally.. not dumb blonde joke blonde!! :P But it could have affects on my brain so we'll see!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Another of Life's Lessons

Every semester I've had to come back from something. I thought this was the one semester that things would be ok, not amazing or great, just ok and that was enough for me because I felt like I finally learned from my mistakes in the past and I would be able to get to enjoy that accomplishment.

How foolish of me to think such a thing! I missed passing that exam by one question. I keep dwelling on everything I didn't do, but it's not going to change anything and I can't let it effect what I will do in the future. So I've decided to hand it over to the Lord and if this is supposed to work out it will and if not... well then I guess I'll have my answer.

"It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life's story will develop."
President Uchtdorf (www.mormon.org)

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Frrriiiidaayyyyyyy!!

Ahh! Big test on Friday. The second most important one of my life, but the BIGGEST one of this semester. I need to pass and if I don't....well, yea. Won't go in to it too much because I don't want to think about it, but pretty much I'll have to delay graduation if I don't pass.

Soooo.... I need some help from whoever is reading this please! I need your prayers and positive thoughts around noon on Friday! I feel good and calm about it, but it doesn't hurt to have some back up and support!! :D

Thank you all!!!

Only 14 more dayyysss!!!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

.:Maggie:.

They sedated her and I held her in my arms the entire time. I cried and then held back the tears and then cried again. Even though I knew we had planned to put our precious pug to sleep it didn't seem real to me until that moment I held her. She made all the wrong in the world go away and knowing that she wouldn't be there for that ever again hurt.

I know it's silly to feel this way about a dog, but I guess only true pet lovers will understand this.

It felt like a normal day... a normal day to take our pet to the vet. But what hurt the most was knowing that she wouldn't be coming home with us and knowing that she didn't know that. She probably only thought it was a regular routine and of course was nervous like she always is for those regular visits. I felt like in some way we were betraying her trust. It broke my heart.

We had the best doctor and they were so good to us. They let me hold her the entire time and I literally got to watch her leave. It was the hardest thing yet the best thing I could have experienced.

I miss her already.


Saturday, July 17, 2010

Just Missing.

I was just looking back at some of my blog entries and realized... they're always about school! Blah! So I just wanted to write down a few, sort of, non-school related things on my mind...

~I can't wait until I have my first real job! I can't wait to be doing something completely out of my element. I can't wait until I have a paycheck!~

~There's nothing really good on TV anymore... it's mostly disgusting garbage and it saddens me. Only thing I can stand to watch is ESPN and a few comedies~

~Which reminds me, I miss going to sporting events and can't wait until I can get my own car and travel and see baseball games live!!! I want to go to as many stadiums as I can. Definitely going to Yankee stadium again~

~I miss going to movies and out to eat and exercising! lol. Boy, do I need to exercise~

~I miss going to concerts~

~I miss seeing my friends! I hear about so many things going on and I can't be there or can't afford to be there or don't have time to be there~

~I can't wait until I can go see the ocean on any given day at a drop of a hat~

~I can't wait until I can read a book for fun and it doesn't come with a syllabus!~

~Just 31 more days until I can get closer to accomplishing some of these things~

:)

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Why Tests Suck.

1. You learn the book backwards and forwards and you only get tested on part of it, if that. So if you think about it, if you do really well, it may be because it happened to be the stuff you understood really well. If you do bad it could be because it was the stuff you struggled with and prayed it wouldn't be on there, but of course it is. So tests don't always test your full knowledge, just a matter of how "nice" your teacher is or a matter of luck. I really do get lucky on a lot of these tests. I'm sure that sounds comforting to future patients of mine...

2. There are no multiple choice answers to pick from in the real world!!! Of course I look "smart" on paper sometimes, but get me in front of a patient and it's like I have no idea where to begin.

"What will be your next intervention nurse..."
"Ummm... wait I know this.. just give me four choices to pick from and I know I can figure it out!"

Yea, I'm sure that's how it'll work.

3. I have no other reasons really except that I'm tired and annoyed and stressed and scared beyond belief. I have another test on Monday and add 12 hours shifts in between which takes study time away and it becomes not so fun. Our last test was just 2 weeks ago and I managed to get by because I studied everyday for 5 weeks.. yea this test should be really, really fun :/

Just needed to vent... Feel free to add to the list because I'm sure I could come up with a billion more, but I have to get back to the books.

Only 59 more days...

Monday, May 24, 2010

Ahhhh!!

I wish school was out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
13 more weeks.
Let the countdown begin.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Time Flies.

Third semester is over and done with. Things started to smooth out in the end.. especially because I ignored it all and was able to just drift on through without caring lol. Now I'm going to be starting my last and final semester!!! I am in shock. It has projects and clinicals and tests galore. Don't know how I'm going to be able to handle it, but I'm hoping that I can take what I learned from my first 3 semesters and not get myself into any major holes like I always seem to...

I remember my first few days of nursing school and now I'll soon be celebrating my last few days before I can blink an eye. Unreal!

So I have this whole week off and then 15 weeks and counting until graduation!!!

Hope everyone else with normal lives has a good summer! :P

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Imbalanced

I'm finally on spring break and the semester will be over in about a month. I feel like I'm in another funk!! I hate these. Usually something horrible will have to happen to snap me back out of it and that's not a good way to have to figure it out.

I just want to be done already! I'm passing all my classes fine, but I'm having trouble in clinical to the point that it's stressing me out and I want to quit. There always has to be that "something" each semester I have to deal with and "overcome." I'm sick of overcoming. I just want one peaceful semester before the next chapter.

I guess on a good note, I have been more social... but I'd rather be doing that than studying so I'm getting thrown off there too.

Now I feel like I'm just being random. Ok, good night.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

My Project

Just in case anyone was following my picture project, I moved it to another website because flickr makes you pay for it after a certain amount of pictures posted and then starts hiding them. And right now I can't afford that ... so here's the new link: Project 365

It doesn't show up as a slideshow like flickr did so if you want to see it as a slideshow you'll have to click the button in the top left side or you can just scroll to the bottom. I might still keep the flickr one updated, not sure. We'll see. Just want to keep the project going :)

Friday, February 26, 2010

Oh, the irony!

Wow, I had a weird feeling that if I mentioned my car like I did in my last post that something bad would happen to it. Well, sure enough on my way to clinical (which is suuuuuuper important that I get there on time because they are very strict crazy about time and could cost me to fail the class potentially) my car decided to break down!!

I guess a pulley broke off or something and my steering stopped working plus the car started to overheat. I was able to get my car to a bank and into the parking lot which was right off the freeway. I then called my dad first and luckily he left his cell on and answered at 6 in the morning! I was able to make it to clinical just in time.

Also, the best part is while I was away my dad took my car in and got it fixed!! I knew today was going to be good in spite of a stressful situation. I feel very blessed because my dad is amazing and I didn't have to deal with it and especially because it didn't cost me as much as I thought it would :)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Nothing's really new that I can think of...

Got my graduation application back, which is weird because I feel like I'm strugging AGAIN with another stupid class and it's frustrating so that packet doesn't seem real yet. Why can't being smart just come naturally to me??

But this semester has been pretty laid back compared to last semester so I've been able to see my friends a little bit more and I don't feel as stressed in spite of the annoying struggles.

Decided to work on my fitness and have been taking a spinning class at school.. and WOW. Definitely a work out. Hoping to fit in my jeans again by summer.

Heard about how you can travel anywhere in the world as a nurse, work there for a bit and still have a job when you come back home.. and they pay for your expenses!! I'll have to look more into that when I start working. Very excited about that one depending on how true it is.

And my car is still working! I'm just grateful and happy about that one. :)

Hope you're all doing well!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Brick by Brick.

It was really weird today.. I got an email from school stating that I need to come in as soon as possible and start my graduation submission forms. Wow. I can't believe that day is actually coming up. I feel like I just started school here. This road has been hard, but faster than I could have imagined. Kind of scary that I'll get to be a grown up soon with a grown up job and have to do grown up things like pay real bills and live by myself... But I actually get to graduate! I'll be walking in December though since you can't walk in the summer. Which I don't mind as long as I'm still here. Not sure how the job market will be by then. I'd like to stay in Vegas for a bit, but we'll see. I definitely could see myself living near a beach though...

Well, it's been a little rough getting back into the swing of things. But so far it hasn't been like last semester when I've had to study literally to midnight every night just to keep up. I actually should be studying now.... oh well.

This year so far has been great. I feel happy and I feel like I am starting to have some what of a balanced life even though it's a Friday night and I'm currently at home... but I'm playing tomorrow so that counts :)

The end.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Project 365

Ok, you can go here for the link to my Project 365. Can't guarantee pictures will be up daily, but I'm going to be taking them.

Happy New Year!! It already feels better :)
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