Things are definitely not working out in my favor so far. This semester is the roughest semester I've ever been through and I don't see myself coming out of it alive. It'll be the first time ever in my life that I'll have to re-take a class and it's really hard to accept it even though I've been praying about it and I feel good about re-taking it. But the adversary definitely has a way of making you think otherwise and that's where the struggle has come in. It just breaks my heart. I'm scared. I feel so inadequate. I don't know how to handle it some days. Other days I feel fine.
I'm not sure why I'm going through this. Is there a purpose that I need to re-take it or am I really that dumb that I can't get this and no amount of divine help will work? Am I not working hard enough? Am I not wanting it bad enough? Why has He brought me this far and letting me fall? Ugh. So many negative thoughts.
But I do feel that re-taking it would help me out in the long run as a nurse. I just really hope it's for some type of purpose, that He's doing it for my own good and not because I just can't do it otherwise I don't feel like I could handle it all. I get discouraged way too easily.
Other than that, life is just lovely! Can you tell?? ha ha
Hey! Remember me? I am Brooke's mom and your old (and I do mean old) young woman's leader! You are so awesome and don't forget it. Listen to yourself and keep reminding yourself that sometimes we have to have a few bumps to keep us praying. He really does want us to have a relationship with Him. Ask Him what he wants you to learn from this bump. Who knows, years down the way you may see a huge blessing or two that came out of taking the class again. Go get 'em tiger! Maybe I should have said Yanke!
ReplyDeleteYou poor thing, you'll get though it and semi-unscathed. Perhaps it is for the long run that you need to retake it.
ReplyDeleteJust take it one day at a time. :)
The negative thoughts are normal. . .whats important is your being able to recognize them as negative & change them. Thats one thing that I always admired so much about you. Even when things were crappy & those thoughts came in, you never let them take over. You always helped me to see the good in every situation.
ReplyDeleteI'm really proud of you by the way! You must be under a lot of stress & have so much you have to learn about. I don't think just anyone can do what you are doing!
Hang in there & if anyone can get the positive out of this situation it's you!
By the way, I am going natural....yikes! I have been studying alot though & I'm taking a class so I feel really good/excited about it. I would love to talk to you about some of that stuff some time especially if thats what you are learning about now. Too bad I can't have you as my nurse when the time comes... or can I???? :) Probably not, but a girl can dream right?
Meghan.... are you talking about peds? Did you not pass? or are you thinking that you wont be able to... Well just remember the broght side... we will be together once again... Well... I hope you are doing well. Just remember that everything really does happen for a reason... And HE has control over everything.. Even over the adversary... Good luck... :)
ReplyDeleteWhatever happens, you will get through it. And He will always be there waiting to embrace you, whether it's to comfort or congratulate you. You've come very far Meghan and I know you will achieve your goals! Don't let negative thoughts weigh you down, whatever scares you turn them into strengths.
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