Starting Over.

My job is fantastic! I've been in training the last 6 weeks and now I'll be on my own starting Sunday... yikes! Wish me luck.  Handling six patients has been good and I'm surprised I'm handling it, but I don't know how it'll be without someone there with me all the time. 

But that's not what I want to talk about.  I decided it's a good time to start over and I'm referring to my wardrobe.  I kid you not, I have not been clothes shopping since starting nursing school!! I never had time, money, and I didn't really care about it because it sucks to shop when you don't have money coming in.  Of course, I may have bought an occassional few items here and there in the past, but looking at my clothes now you'd never know it because they're falling apart or stained or both (I really am not a great caretaker of clothes apparently).  Now I've decided to slowly replace old clothes with new ones!

Also, all I have bought with any extra spending money I have is scrubs.  That's great and all, but I don't live in the hospital.  So I decided since I never shop just for myself, I can justify in going... and I'm loving it.

I'm so in love...

With my life that is.

My job is amazing and perfect for me.  I've never been happier and I'm glad it worked out the way it did because I thought what I wanted was what was better for me.  And it turns out the thing I wanted probably wouldn't have been as great as I thought.  The change I was given has been even better than I can imagine.

I still can't believe how much the Lord's hand has played in my life and how He's given me so much when I haven't deserved it at all.  Especially because it took me so long to see it and it took me so long to stop being a selfish brat about it.  I'm so grateful and I hope to remember these happy moments for when hard times come.  I honestly haven't felt this truly happy ever in my life.  I didn't know such happiness and joy existed! I didn't know I would ever be allowed such joy in this life.  Is that crazy or what??

This quote is for future reference and I just love it:
“If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness.” -Elder Wirthlin

One Resolution.

Happy New Year!!!

I love feeling like you can start over during this time of year.  Granted, that can be anytime of the year, but why not do it right after the holidays when all the sweets are gone?? ha ha ha!

So far I've been keeping up with my project (since October) and that's kind of exciting to me because I usually get bored at this point and I haven't yet.  So, yay! And since it's the new year I thought I'd share it again as something I'll be working on for this coming year. 

Sooo... if you want to check it out, then click HERE.

Hope everyone is doing well!

Work Update.

I feel a lot better about all of it.  I'm actually really, really happy!

I've been on the floor the past couple of days and it's been great! Still don't know what I'm doing half of the time, but luckily everyone has been really helpful and nice.  I like knowing there's so much to do in this field even though I'm not independent yet.  But I'm in no rush for that! ha ha ha! Just like taking the baby steps for now.

I am so happy and relieved to have this job.  I can't stop feeling so good inside!! I've never had that happen to me before.

BUT... (now this is my negative side talking) I'm just worried because you know the saying, "What goes up, must come down."

Hmmm.... just hoping I can handle it all when that happens because the way I've been feeling lately, that "down" is going to be really hard.

So... new goal for the new year:

Face every challenge head on and with a better attitude than before. 

Ok go!

Yikes!

I'm so nervous and I haven't even started yet.  Plus, I'm worried about a few things not working out so my dream job feels like it could be taken away at any moment.  PLUS, with all the talk about the program and expectations I keep feeling even more inadequate so I keep worrying that it will be taken away.  Are they sure my name was the one they picked??

I haven't even started yet and I'm already feeling this way.  Can't imagine what I'll feel like if they let me on the floor!  

Well....

Yes, yes it's true... I GOT THE JOB!!!!

Somehow everything worked out perfectly and so far still is.  Looking back at everything, especially the last four years, I can finally see how it worked out... everytime.  Sadly I couldn't see it during that time with all the tears, fears, struggles, selfishness, anguish, pity, stress (ok, ok you get the picture).  But it's time to learn from that, leave it behind, and move on so I can embrace the present and future.  I'm so grateful for this opportunity and still don't feel like I deserve it.  But I'm going to do my best with it and earn it :)  

So the job is a new graduate program at a hospital that I worked at during my last semester of school.  I really, really liked working there and have been wanting to start my career there (yes, I said career.. how cool is that?!). I've been in contact with people there since I graduated and have been just waiting it out until an opportunity like this came.  It's hard for new graduates to get a job without experience because it cost a lot more money to train a new graduate then it does someone with experience.  This is the first time this hospital or any hospital in Nevada has ever done a new graduate program.  It's so new to the hospital that I'm not sure exactly what will be going on, but this is what I understand of it so far...

It's a one year residency which means a guaranteed job for a year!! Yay! For the first five weeks we'll be rotating on all the different units and afterwards we'll pick/be assigned a unit.  We'll then have a preceptorship for 6-8 weeks on that unit.  But that's as much as I know so far.  I'm sure there will be classes and such in between and throughout.  But the point is, they'll be designing this program for us!!

I'm extremely nervous and yet I have never been so at peace and felt so happy about my life now and the future. 

Thank you to an understanding, patient, loving Heavenly Father for still believing in me even though I don't deserve it.  And thank you for wonderful family and friends for the love, support, and prayers!!!

I finally made it!!! 

Interview.

Finally had my first nursing interview today.  Couldn't sleep and I was eating anything in sight because I was so stressed about it.  I've been on plenty of interviews before, but this was my first grown-up interview so it's kind of a big deal.

We had two interviews in one day with two different panels.  I felt so average, inadequate and unoriginal, but who doesn't feel that way during an imporant interview when you have no experience?! Moving on...

It's hard to say how they're going to determine who gets in with so many good applicants... so this weekend is going to be pretty nerve racking.  But at least I can say I've been on one nursing interview since graduating (and I secretly hope it will be my last) so whatever happens will be for the best.... right?!

Ok, I'll find out next week if I made the cut and if I did I'll expound more on it.  If not, well... whoever reads this will get to hear me complain some more :D Lucky you!