Orienation.

Wow. Today was confusing, exciting, and just out there. It's hard to tell what I'm getting into at this point and I feel like my body is there, but my mind and emotional state are not. I kind of got into a phase where I just didn't want to live in reality and now I can't find my way back in or I guess I could say I won't let myself find my way back in. Kind of hard to explain without sounding too crazy. It's something I'm going to have to work on this week or it'll be forced upon me next week! And if it can't be forced upon me then I am officially screwed.

(Why am I doing this to myself now!? That's what bugs me the most about it. I've been working for the last two years to get to this point and now I decide to go into this funk??)

Blessings.

Well, somehow I passed microbiology. I even got an A! And it was mostly because he gave extra points. And most likely because he knows his tests are ridiculous. But it's over and it feels sooooo Good! I actually got to take a nap today.

All I have left to do is just finish up a paper and beg my stats teacher to make sure I get a C. I'd hate to think a stupid, meaningless class would get in my way now.

But I've been having a really hard time focusing. I haven't been me for the last couple of weeks and it's driving me nuts. I can't let go of certain things and a part of me is letting that happen; it's my fault and it's been a struggle. I'm just going to have to work really hard to get out of this slump. Especially if I want to do well this summer.

Thank you all for your prayers, love, and support!

A New Book.

Last week left til finals. I'm just a little nervous... I could potentially be starting everything I've been working for so long this summer!! It's a surreal feeling. And I feel so unprepared. Do you ever feel prepared though? And if you wait til your fully prepared, you'd probably end up being 89 years old. I can't afford to wait that long. I'd like to start this summer. I don't want to blow it now. I want to finally be able to do something useful, meaningful, and challenging and have a life on top of it.

TGIF.

I had an amazing spring break!! You know why?? Because I actually took a break! (For those that know me... surprise, surprise.)

I slept in.

I actually went out with friends.

I watched TV without staring at the clock.

I went running.

I went to other places besides school.

I only did school work one day out of the week. I was planning on studying throughout the week, but that didn't happen. Rodeos and movies happened instead. It was what I needed.

Unfortunately, Sunday was the first sign of a cold I caught which moved into my chest and made my throat swell so I've lost my voice (even as I write this I can barely talk). Coming back from a nice break has made it a lot harder to pick up my study habits again. And being sick doesn't help either. It has made it hard to focus, especially when you're trying not to cough up one of your lungs (Sorry, TMI perhaps??! lol).

Having a break so late in the semester is not a good idea either. I only have 2 more weeks til finals now! Weirdly enough I don't feel stressed about it. I'm at a point where a B or C will be just fine. I'm ready to move on.

Wish me luck the next two weeks anyways! Hopefully I'll be better by Monday.

Leann Rimes.

Fremont Street throws free concerts a lot and we were right up front near the stage! I was invited by some great friends and it was a lot of fun.

(I'm really trying to make more of an effort to get out more. This was a good start!).

Faith.

Ok, so I've been such a brat, jerk, and a negative person since my micro test. And I will now beat myself up over the fact that I didn't show a little more faith.

I ended up getting an 85%!!

Lyrics of My Heart.

I've learned that holding everything in doesn't protect you; it causes your heart to explode.

I've learned good friends really are hard to find, but are worth keeping forever.

I've learned that I'd rather be vulnerable to that one good friend than lose that person forever because I was afraid of change.

I've learned that people are more understanding then we give them credit for.

I've learned that God sends you gifts everyday and one of them is your friends.

I've learned that there is enough hours in a day for everything and you need to have balance. Otherwise, what's the point of living in the moment?